Thursday, May 24, 2012

Segovia- I Luva Ya!

Segovia is...definitely in the top 10 places I've ever been!  Whattttt?? Hey... Segovia is...the bomba!
Three quick reasons I say that:
        1. The Cathedral and the Alcazar
        2. The old town streets
        3. The Aqueduct
Of course where a person is, is always enhanced by who they are with and the weather.  Both are excellent.

The cathedral-   This is not a postcard!  It's the real deal.  Quaint town of 55,000 at 3,000 feet with real  mountains in the background.  It "only" took 240 years to build the cathedral.

That means that the architect and his entire firm were not only dead, but dust, before the project was completed.  Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

How crazy long is 240 years?   That's 12 generations!  See those nice pointed spires - that's Gothic!  Unfortunately, for the architect, by the time the cathedral was being completed, Gothic was losersville and Renaissance was in.    soooo.... hence the dome instead of a very pointed cap!
Didn't think I'd notice did you!!  The old,"oops, dome/spire switcheroo!"
I'm not sure why Remax has a balloon floating around.  Foreclosure??

While walking around the cathedral, I stumbled across an old record of how the decision to use a dome instead of a spire was made and luckily for you, I had it translated.  It is a conversation recorded between         the Pope in 1740,
and the original architect's Great Grandson, (A12)
 (A12)  was the architect in charge of finishing the cathedral.  Here's that holy conversation in it's abbreviated form.

 Pope:  So how's that cathedral thingy coming along?
A12:  Not bad. Not bad.
Pope:  Uh...are you aware that the pointy look is.... out?
A12:  I'm an architect. Of course I am...but that "pointy look" is Gothic and it's been around for 100's of years.
Pope:  So has sin, but we don't advocate keep committing the same sins, do we?
A12:  What are you getting at?
Pope:  I want a dome!
A12:  A dome?!?!?!   That's ridiculous!  You don't put a "dome" on a Gothic cathedral.
Pope:  I'm not!
A12:  Whew!  For a minute there...
Pope:  YOU ARE!
A12:  Oh come on!   I've got some great flying buttresses and a pinnacle thingy, and ...
Pope:  Nooooo.....just fly your little pagan buttress over there and give me a dome!
A12:  Is there anything I can say that will change your mind?
Pope:  Yes!   Say 10 million Hail Marys and 20 trillion Our Fathers
A12:  You'll have to give me a good reason before I put a dome on a Gothic cathedral!
Pope:  I'll commend your soul to eternal damnation if you don't!
A12:  I'm a pagan, remember!
Pope:  You won't get paid if you don't!
A12:   I'll get started on that dome first thing in the morning!
Pope:  It's a miracle!

It's not really that big inside.  The lady is just very very short.

Then again...Yes it is!
It reminded me of when I tried to hug a redwood.
I like to hug...mostly people, but in a pinch, a Gothic pillar will suffice.

Actually, few people know this, but Segovia experienced a 7.3 earthquake while we were in the cathedral.
Luckily, I've been doing my 10 pushups a day, and was able to keep the pillar from falling.

The craziest thing happened when we were in the cathedral.  A bolt of lightening came down, zapped him in the eyes and knocked him off his donkey (ass) and when he stood up I said:
me:      Zack...are you alright?
Zack:  Yes..never better...and the name is Saul
me:      Saul?
Zack:'s Paul
me:       Paul?
Zack:    Yes... wait... another update... my name is
me:       Really?
Zack:    Yes...I'm now a Christian rapper
me:        Cool!


I learned something about modern day monks.
ZERO sense of humor!
ZERO sense of fun!

All Zack and I were doing was playing a game of Marco Polo, without the water...and... you should have seen this little fella run after Zack.  Almost caught him but it looked like he tripped over his robe...or maybe it was his cane!

I'm not sure what order of monks work at the cathedral, but they certainly aren't the kind of monks who took a vow of silence!!
I don't know how to curse in Spanish, but if I was a betting person, I'd bet that what he was yelling would be pretty close to cursing.

The area behind Zack is one of the many chapels inside the cathedral.  They were bought by wealthy families and it could only be used by them...(except for BINGO on the 3rd Tuesdays of the month.)  
The priest would even personalize the prayers in the Mass with the wealthy family's name.  I asked a priest about it and he said, "Well... ya gotta understanda.  Nobody had a car, so they couldn't sell a preferred parking space."  Oh... I see.  Thank you for clarifying that!
It really bothered me that money could get you such a privilege, your very own chapel... but then I started thinking of Cardinal Bidwell and how he sell different seats in his his cathedral.  It's all starting to make sense now!!

So enough holy gossip.
 Here's another reason
I love Segovia.  Maps here are a useless.
 (Okay I really hate that part of Segovia),
 but once you're here, you know the
general direction of your destination, and  you always end up where you want to go.
Think of it as exercise.

The cobblestone streets, the lack of graffiti, (don't start me with that "ohhhh, it's a form of art (**%%!)

Love this city!  Next time I have to go on the lam, I'm coming here!
Oops...guess not!

I'm not really sure what Zack's doing.
Choices are:

a) inhaled too much incense at cathedral;

b) has a Pope complex and is blessing you.  (Dat's a gooda boy!!);

c) preparing for liftoff

Segovia and surrounding area are famous for their beans!  
See, don't you just love this city more and more!?!
They taste just like butter beans and they cook them with ham, which Spain is famous for, and badda-bing, you have the most delicious stew to eat in an outdoor cafe on a chilly night!

Wow!  I didn't expect to write so much about the cathedral.  I totally forgot about writing about the Alcazar and the Aqueduct.  Oh well.  Tomorrow's a travel day.  If all goes well, we'll be spending the night in Cordoba!  Even the name, "Cordoba" brings fire to my eyes.  Can't tell you now, but will later.
It's 1.5 hours from Segovia to Madrid, then about 5 hours to Cordoba.  We'll be zonked when we get there so probably no writing for awhile.
    On a personal note, I've got to lose weight.  215 lbs!!  (How much is that in Euros?)  Can't really run because of knee and hernia.  Can't really diet, because I love FOOD.  What to do?  I will probably have to start eating oranges for breakfast instead of croissants, croissants filled with custard, and croissants filled with chocolate.  It's just that I know how it feels to be left out and when I see three different kinds of croissants sitting on a tray, I think, "How would I feel if someone picked the other ones and I was the only one left?"  Do you ever feel like that?  Is it just me?  Is it just me that hears the song of the croissant?  Say it ain't so!!
...who wants to eat on orange with a cafe con leche?  Why that's just...just...sacrilegious!!  And besides,
after three croissants, I'm just not hungry enough to eat an orange!

Gotta run... Zack's practicing his rap!  Check out the lyrics:
      Yeah!  Yeah!  (hard pounding beat)
      Gonna have to eat some leaven
      If I plan to go to heaven...
      Yeah!  Yeah!  (add bobble head effect)
     Gotta see my man on the throne
     Tell him, "Hey, I'm home, home, home.
     Yeah!  Yeah!!

Yessiree.. He's my ticket to a financially free retirement!!

I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't mention this article to Zack!!